ok so i totally haven't checked this out in yet another long time... but i have been trying my best to keep myself very very busy, working and chillaxing with friends... but yes i am back here at the Catholic School Main office but i am a receptionist for a day... WOOT WOOT... i thought in the begining, but NO, this job is very very very boring cause yeah all i do is sit here in front of a computer, wait for the phone to ring, once in awhile get up to ask questions.. "Where do i transfer this person to?" GAH... but yes i just keep thinking "$10 an hour, $10 an hour" lol and i so need the extra cash, cause i just spen my whole wad on hockey registration... oh oh hockey is lovelyfun fun... and i got new skates, and a new bag, and a new can!!! lol oh and new pants with like extra padding on the ass which makes me a happy camper. oh man am i ever tired.. and i have a headache and GAH i hungry *sneaks fruit snacks* mmmm i want my Miss Vickies salt and vinegar chips... i am like ADDICTED to them... lol uh huh.. oh printy stuff... mm yes that is probably the most exciting thing to happen today... gah, ohoh but i go to the theatre tomorrow night with the fabulous DESTINY!!.. yeah we are getting all dolled up and perdy like and going out for the evening.. so excited. mmm yes and i think we should go out to MacDonalds to eat... and like pack a candle, and some plates and forks and knives.. mmm yes that would be interesting fun... fancy restaurant style setting with McDicks... awesome, mmm BOP! oh man do i love hanson!! they rock my socks, OH ADD moment, Nickelback's CD came out TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1   YAY AWESOMENESS!! so i think that i will have to spend the rest of my life savings just for that super fabtabulousness of nickelback, cause i like them a lot... and back to HANSON... their Live and Electric Tour CD/DVD comes out on Oct. 11th which makes me excited as well cause Every Word I say is on it, and there is a DVD which means video of ZAC *tear* he gets married which makes me sad... but oh well. Speaking of sadlike.. tanner is in Victoria for school and i am very proud of him and all that jazz, but i do miss that boy. some times i go thru tanner withdrawals and that is not cool, but i just smile and think, he loves me and is coming back for christmas, oh thanksgiving is this weekend, and i might just be going to my grandparents place, which could possibly mean that i will josh, and i have not seen him in a LONG time ... hmmm lol woot woot but yeah

mm yes about that........... any way wow! Des u rock cause u stillf come here and this Jules grl! lol go and check her webjournal cause it is fun fun! kind of like the good times that me and the grls have... (Bailey, Candi, lora, laura, des, janet) mmm yes......... lol any way so not a whole lot has happened lately, mmm i lost my job (no worries tho cause i am just a temp so it was easy to get another job) right now i work at the Catholic School center doing printing shit! GAH .. so i was watching the news (just for a second) and apparently there is going to be some televised fight between hockey players to get money or something dumb like that... This upsets me very much cause hockey is not just about the fighting.. in fact it NEVER was about the fighting... it was about putting on that smelly equipment that is distinctly hockey, and then taking that first glide on the ice and then BASHING the shit out of ppl when they get in ur way from scoring... lol ok now i am contradicting myself... lol yeah ne way.. gotta go, but yeah ttyl

holy it has BEEN AWHILE!!!! omg! lol i didn't think anyone still came here! huh maybe *hint hint* maybe ppl should comment or tag me!!!! lol awe chillax.. so what is knew with me? hmmm i am 18 now, graduated, got a job (woot woot) and feeling like summer is just slipping away too fast. huh and last week some guy i thought i worked on the street (aka street whore - please no one take offense) and tried to pick me up...  *turns up music and walks faster* lol awe any way it seems that the majority of my friends are off to new and wonderful places - september 4th tanner leaves to B.C *tear* gonna miss that boi sooo sooo  much, candice is gone to lethbridge already! umm what else????? my elbow hurts and i need to file my nails down so ttyl

Well i didn't forget about father's day, just thought it was on wednesday, but yeah so i made dad supper - steak, rice, corn, fried mushrooms - so yeah it was good, and then i watched the MMVA's - o o o Kalan Porter won fav. Canadian artist... woot woot! ne way so can't wait til grad!!!

you make me wanna la la, on the kitchen on the floor, i'll be your french maid...lol ok i will stop now

buh bye

so school if officially over, all that is left is Diplomas and then going out into the real world... GAH!! so yes the past few days have been pretty emotional (yeah it was the boy aka Tanner again) but like always we worked it out with conversation and he actually listened to me so that is always good good... anyway, it's raining again! so that means that there is probably is going to be more flooding here in good ol' Southern Alberta - not to mention snow is supposed to be melting off from the mountains, so that kind of adds to things. meh, oh well. so........ what is new? lol i'm off so ttyl

so yeah - LAST MONDAY OF HIGH SCHOOL EVER!!! woot woot - .................... now that i got that out of my system - GAH i have a English Essay Diploma tomorrow - not woot woot... oh well i will just bs my way thru it... la la ne way

SMILE and hug the person that's beside u ( or the next person u come in contact with)

so High River is like flooded! so Janet - i wish u luck and hope that everything is ok/ going to b ok! Love ya grl! ne way we have like a week and a half of in class school! and it is weird cause i always thought that i would still have my best friends with me - like i know i still have a couple, but in particular i thought tanner would be there, but his head grew to big to accomodate being my friend... cause it seems the he is toooo good for ne one that was actually good in his life - like i mean when no one else was there, i was and now i am being treated like i'm not good enough - THAT IS IDIOTIC CRAP!!! i know i'm not perfect nor the smartest person, but i know that i deserve better... he uses the excuse that he has other friends and that he can't always be the one to come to me - so i go to him and what happens? i stand there feeling even more stupid and rejected cause it seems that to me he doesn't even want to know that i exist... GAH! at one point in his life he was a good person - in fact a lot more ppl liked him better when he was fat then now (cause since he lost weight and got an agent for his acting career {which is nonexistent} he thinks that he is better) i always thought that at grad it would be him, bailey and i just partying it up and being glad of the good times we had the three of us, but I GUESS NOT!

ne way HI PPL!!!!!

ok so GOOD news Y'all!!! i finally got tanner to talk to me and it turns out that this whole incident was bad timing and a misunderstanding!! see what happened is that Breanne *tanner's ex gf of death that likes to collect guys' souls and rule them* ne way she had a freak out at tanner so he was like "Gah! moody grls suck!" and he was supposed to call me this past weekend *but i knew he wouldn't call cause he was busy with stuff* so ne way and on monday when i had walked away cause i knew that i would pull *what the 2 of us like to call a "breanne" - in other words FReak out* he thought i was moody and pissed about him not calling this past weekend and such.... so yeah he just didn't want to talk to me cause he thought i was moody....BUT i wasn't trying to be moody and freak out at him... so yeah the whole situation is mended enough that he will talk to me!!!

ne way that is all

Gah, so tanner is yet to talk to me, even tho i told him "hey come talk to me"... here is the 411

he made out with this grl at our choir trip and i did not find out about this until monday at lunch... about 5-10 min later tanner came over to where i was eating and i was still upset/shocked about the news so i got up and left saying "this is awkward"... so i decided to just take a deep breath, spend the rest of the day to think about an appropriate mature response to this so here is what i came up with...

I'm not mad at tanner about making out with this grl and i have no right to be mad at him because a) he is not my bf so technically he is not cheating on me (b) he is single and allowed to go and do whatever he wants

but i do have the right to be hurt because of our own personal situation and that for 4 days i have looked like an idiot because i did not know about this... So tuesday i decided that i am going to talk to him and that as friends we will figure this out, but he would not let me talk to him and walked away/ avoided me with his head down (hmmm cowardly) so that hurt me even more. And it was the same story today.... It is soo upsetting because we are such good friends that we should be able to talk this through and find out what is going on. I don't want him to be my boyfriend ne more, i don't want him to be my best friend with benefits ne more, i just want my best friend again... that one person that i could actually talk to and depend on....

so that is my personal update

ps. i talked to my dad about it and he said that i should get tanner alone and get right in his face and be like "What the hell is going on?" - that shocked me a bit, coming from my dad

tanner - EAT SHIT AND FUCK A TREE

and every other guy that think that is ok to go and lie to a grl and tell her that u care about her feelings and that u wouldn't do ne thing to hurt her and then after making out and all that good stuff, say that the both if u need to "cool off" and then NOT even a week later get with sum other grl who is by reputation someone who gets around!!!

 

oh and ZAC hanson - WHY oh WHY did u have to go and get engaged???